Series 711 – The Cooper Extraction

1. Penny: Wow, you're really good at this. Amy: Well, I have an extremely low centre of gravity重心低. I'm like a pyramid. Penny: How you doing over there? Leonard: Oh, I hope it's just a sprain扭伤(脚扭伤). I cannot walk into that E.R. with another video game injury. Penny: Hey, Sheldon, you want to play next? Sheldon: Oh, I would, but I'm on my way out要出门了. Leonard: Where? Sheldon: Texas. Amy: Right now? Why? Leonard: Is someone sick? Sheldon: Yes. My sister's uterus (ˈjuːtərəs) 子宫 came down with a baby. Penny: Oh, she's pregnant? That's great. You're gone an uncle. Uncle Sheldon. Sheldon: No, I will be Uncle Dr. Cooper. Amy: How come you never said she was pregnant? Sheldon: Well, I never told you about my brother's kidney stone肾结石. You want to hear about everything that comes out of my family's genitals? Leonard: Well, congrats, and it's nice you're gonna be there for your sister. Sheldon: Yes. I'm filling in for 代替 her husband who's recovering from a horrible motorcycle accident. Lucky duck. Penny: Wow, so, how long will you be gone? Sheldon: Well, she's due tomorrow. Although it did take her six years to finish high school, so who knows? Amy: Can I give you a ride to the airport? Sheldon: Oh, no, thank you, I don't want to be an inconvenience. Chop-chop(Chop chop, also known as loose tobacco, is an Australian term for untaxed, cheap, illegal tobacco, such as that which is home grown. "Chop chop" avoids heavy excise and taxation levies and can be much cheaper than the legal product. The "chop chop" industry is illegal and unregulated. The term comes from the production process of the illegal producers - merely chopping up the cured tobacco leaves. cure preserve (meat, fish, tobacco, or an animal skin) by salting, drying, or smoking.), Leonard. We leave in ten minutes. 2. Leonard: All right, here's the deal. Sheldon is gone, so the tree decorating rules are out the window. Penny: Yeah, which means we don't have to use his ridiculous ornament-spacing template. Leonard: And I'm happy to report its kickstarter campaign(Kickstarter is a crowdfunding platform. Numerous well-known creators have used Kickstarter to produce their work. In April 2013, filmmaker Zach Braff used a Kickstarter campaign to fund his upcoming film Wish I Was Here and raised $2 million in three days, citing the success of Rob Thomas' Veronica Mars Kickstarter as his inspiration. Some have criticized Braff for using the site, saying celebrity use of the site will draw attention away from filmmakers and other creatives who don't have celebrity name recognition. Kickstarter has disputed these arguments by reporting that, according to their metrics, big name projects tend to attract new visitors to the site who in turn pledge to other lesser known projects. In 2012, Amanda Palmer raised $1.2 million on Kickstarter. She wrote about how she used the money, however several other musicians reviewed these expenses and said they were extravagant and possibly fraudulent. She was further criticized for attempting to have musicians play with her for free on tour, after raising such a large sum.) is holding strong at zero dollars. Penny: Ah. Raj: Wait, so Star Wars and Star Trek characters can go on the same branch? Leonard: I know, it's crazy. Welcome to the Thunderdome, people. (All whoop) Howard: I've never done this before. It's kind of fun. Raj: Yeah, if your mom could see her little Bar Mitzvah boy right now, she'd have a heart attack. Bernadette: Good idea, I'll take a picture. Penny: Honey, I'm a little strapped for cash( Informal In financial need. badly in need (of money, manpower, etc); short of. We are strapped for cash right now.) this year, so for Christmas I was thinking of giving you this. Leonard: I love it. Penny: Okay. Leonard: But it is what you got me last year. Penny: Yeah. Leonard: And last night. Stuart: Hello. Various: Hey, Hi, Stuart. etc. Stuart: Oh, good, I'm glad you guys didn't wait for me to start. Although you said seven and it's, it's seven, but that's fine. Amy (ringing from tablet): Oh, it's probably Sheldon. Hi, Sheldon. Everybody's here, say hi. Penny: Hi. Leonard: Hey, buddy. The second I go out of town you throw a Christmas party without me? Amy: Yeah, kinda. Sheldon: That's so thoughtful. You guys are the best. Penny: Hey, how's your sister? Sheldon: She went into labor an hour ago. Amy: That's wonderful. So you're at the hospital? Sheldon: No, she chose to have a home birth because she wants to live in the Stone Age and a cave wasn't available. Raj: You know, many people believe that home births are better because the mother is in a warm, comfortable environment where she can be nurtured by loved ones爱的人. Sheldon: And turn the bedroom floor into an amniotic (amniotic (ˌæmnɪˈotik) A thin, tough, membranous sac that encloses the embryo or fetus of a mammal, bird, or reptile. It is filled with a serous fluid in which the embryo is suspended. amnion 羊膜, 羊水, 胞衣. ) Slip 'n Slide(The Slip 'n Slide is a toy manufactured by Wham-O, first introduced in 1961 after being invented by Robert Carrier. The toy is a long sheet of thin plastic, flanked lengthwise on one side by a heat-sealed tubular fold. The tube can be attached to any ordinary garden hose. Water runs through the tube and out small perforations, spraying onto the sliding surface. The Slip 'n Slide then becomes very slippery, enabling users to jump onto the plastic and slide the length of the sheet. Wham-O and makers of similar competitive products later included various enhancements such as an inflatable pool at one end of the sliding surface and spray tubes on both sides.). Mrs Cooper (off): Shelly, come on. Your sister's fully dilated( dilate (daiˈleit; dɪ-) I. 扩大. 扩张, 放大. To become wider or larger; expand. to expand or cause to expand; make or become wider or larger: the pupil of the eye dilates in the dark. II. To speak or write at great length on a subject; expatiate. ) and she wants a nice family picture before there's blood everywhere. Sheldon: Oh, boy. I picked the wrong day to wear my good robot T-shirt. Raj: If you were having Sheldon's baby would you really want him in the room? Penny: Yeah, if he's in the room when they're making the baby, I'll give you ten dollars. Bernadette: Hey, I brought over It's a Wonderful Life if you guys want to watch it later. Amy: Oh, I love that movie. Raj: I've never seen it. Stuart: Me neither. Amy: It's great. It's Christmastime and Jimmy Stewart's really depressed and he's gonna jump off a bridge and kill himself. Stuart: Don't need to see it. Living it. Bernadette: But then he gets to see what the world would be like if he'd never been born. Penny: Hey, you ever imagine what that would be like? Not being born? Leonard: (Knock, knock, knock) What do you think? (Knock, knock, knock) What do you think? (Knock, knock, knock) What do you think? Amy: You make jokes about Sheldon, but if it weren't for him要不是因为他, I don't think any of us would be sitting in this room right now. Howard: Really? Sheldon not being here is the main reason I'm in this room. Amy: It's true. None of you would know me. You wouldn't know Bernadette. You wouldn't be dating Penny. Leonard: You don't know that. I've been going to the Cheesecake Factory for years. I could have picked her up. (General laughter) Penny: Oh, you weren't joking. Leonard: No. Penny: Okay, sweetie, let me tell you exactly how that would have gone down. Fantasy sequence in Cheesecake Factory. Leonard: I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna ask her out. Howard: I'm gonna squirt (I. 挤奶. 挤. To eject (liquid) forcibly in a thin stream from a narrow opening. The elephant squirted water over itself; Water squirted from the hose. II. To wet with a spurt of liquid.) chocolate milk out of my nipples. Sorry, I thought we're saying things that are never gonna happen. Raj: Maybe this time he's going to do it. Howard: Hope you're thirsty, here it comes. Leonard: Watch me. Penny: Hey, you guys ready to order or you need a few minutes? Leonard: I, uh, ah, um, I… Penny: A few minutes it is. Raj: You didn't ask her out, but that was a lot of sounds. Leonard: You guys are making me nervous. Howard: Fine, then go talk to her on your own. Leonard: I will. Excuse me. Penny: Yeah? Leonard: Hi, uh, um, I'm Leonard? Penny: Really? You don't sound so sure. Leonard: No, I am he. Uh, any, anyway, um, there's been something I've wanted to ask you for a long time. Um. Penny: What's that? Leonard: Eh, uh, well, I was wondering, if you're not too busy, um, uh, if, if you'd be interested in telling me where the restroom is? Penny: I think you're too late. End fantasy sequence Leonard: Come on, I would not have peed my pants. Howard: She nailed it她说对了. Raj: Sounds about right大差不差(解释一: "Sounds about right" can be used when the person is mostly sure of something, but could be wrong. I'm not sure why we add "about", but the meaning is virtually the same. Adding "about" could indicate a little bit of uncertainty over "sounds right". 解释二: A versatile phrase that is used as a response to a statement that is expected or not surprising to the one being spoken to. Additionally, it can be used in response to accidental innuendos. David: "I just saw that girl throw up and now she's making out with a guy." Jose: "Sounds about right." Becky: "I can barely fit this (sandwich) in my mouth." Friend: "Sounds about right." 解释三: A phrase used to describe a situation in which the action or phrased is expected, implying some characteristic about a person indirectly. Guy: I saw Chrissy getting wasted tonight. Friend: Sounds about right. Guy: Dude, my butt is so sore. Friend: Sounds about right. ). Leonard: But, you forget, I did ask you out in real life. Amy: Which couldn't have happened if you didn't live across the hall from her, which couldn't have happened without Sheldon. Same goes with you guys. If Leonard wasn't with Penny, she never would have set you up. Howard: Doesn't matter. Bernadette still would've been working at The Cheesecake Factory, and I still would've been working this beefcake factory. You would've been all over me(be all over sb I. informal to be touching someone in a sexual way everywhere on their body: She was all over him, kissing him and stroking him. II. being "all over" someone usually means that you like them a lot and/or that you are being clingy with them. "She is all over her boyfriend tonight" means "she is hanging on/cuddling with/kissing her boyfriend tonight". "I'm all over this band!" means "I really like this band!". III. In reference to a couple that has broken up, being over them means that you no longer care about them and the break up isn't bothering you anymore. "He's completely over his ex-girlfriend." "He doesn't care about her anymore." "I am so over you." means "I don't care about you anymore". I think it's very rare that someone would say "I'm all over you" in reference to a break up, but it's possible in certain contexts. ). Bernadette: Well… Fantasy sequence in the Cheesecake Factory. Bernadette: Hey, Penny, can I take that table? Penny: Sure, why? Bernadette: The one in the turtleneck is cute. Raj: Open wide张大嘴, here comes the happy train. Howard: Mm-hmm, chug-a-chug-a, yum, yum. Raj: Oh. Hang on. You got a, you got a little something. Ah. Bernadette: Never mind. End fantasy sequence. Raj: Oh, man, that is so us. Leonard: You know, maybe you and I wouldn't be together, but you wouldn't have done so great yourself. Penny: Why? Leonard: Because I know exactly the kind of guy you would've ended up with. Fantasy sequence in Penny's apartment. Zack: Hey, babe. Penny: Hey. Did you remember to pay the rent? Zack: Better. I used the money to buy these magic beans. End fantasy sequence. Penny: Hey, he may be an idiot, but at least he didn't pee himself. Leonard: Oh, hold on. Fantasy sequence. Zack: Aw, babe, I peed myself. Penny: Me, too. End fantasy sequence. Leonard: The end. Amy (Tablet ringing): Hi, Sheldon. Everything okay? Sheldon: No, it's not. I've seen things. Lady things. Amy: Listen to me. That is not the way they usually look. Sheldon: Doesn't matter. This is no way to make new humans. People coming out of people. It's some kind of dirty magic show. Mrs Cooper (off): Sheldon Lee Cooper. You get back in this room right now. And bring a mop. Sheldon: Did you hear that? A mop. I have two PhDs yet somehow I'm the janitor of my sister's birth canal产道. Leonard: Hey, Sheldon sent us all an e-mail. Happy holidays from Texas. And there's pictures. Aah! Don't open them. Do not open them. Penny: Oh, come on. Childbirth is a natural, beautiful, uuurgh, it's like someone sawed a cow in half. Raj: My father's a gynaecologist, I think I can handle it. And, now, I'm gay. Bernadette: You know, I was thinking. Without Sheldon, most of us would have never met, but Penny would still live across from him住在对面. Amy: And with Leonard out of the picture( out of the picture 不算, 不考虑 I. Fig. no longer relevant to a situation; departed; dead. to not be involved in a situation. not important to or not involved in a situation: Now that Tom is out of the picture, we needn't concern ourselves about his objections. With her husband out of the picture, she can begin living as she pleases. He used to be in the team, but he's gradually drifted out of the picture. II. unnecessary in a particular situation: The new systems cut humans out of the picture altogether.), we all know what that would mean. Penny: We do? Fantasy sequence in the Laundry  room. Penny: Hey, Sheldon. Sheldon: Hello. Penny: Doing laundry? Sheldon: Of course I'm doing laundry. Saturday night is laundry night, and I'm in a laundry room, so, I believe your inference (ˈinfərəns; -frəns] 推理, 推断 is justified. Penny: Oh, my inference is justified. Sheldon, you are so funny. Anyway, I need to do my laundry, too, because these clothes are so dirty. Almost as dirty as the dirty girl who's wearing them. End fantasy sequence. Penny: Okay, that's enough. Leonard: Disagree. Raj: Keep going. Howard: More. Fantasy sequence. Penny: So, what do you think? Sheldon: A tad asymmetrical, but nothing to be concerned about. Penny: Please, Sheldon. I need you. Sheldon: To what? Penny: To take me. Sheldon: I'm not taking you anywhere till you put on a shirt. Penny: Come on, Sheldon. You and me right here. Sheldon: Penny, for the thousandth time, I'm saving myself for someone special. Perhaps a cute bespectacled戴眼镜的 neuroscientist with hair the color of mud. Penny: I think I know how to change your mind. End fantasy sequence. Leonard: That's enough. Raj: Ew. Stuart: I was okay with it. Amy (tablet ringing): How's it going, Sheldon? Sheldon: Actually, much better. Leonard: Oh, good. Is the baby born yet? Sheldon: I don't know. I just got back. Amy: Where'd you go? Sheldon: My mother asked me to get some towels. I took advantage of the vague request and went to Bed, Bath & Beyond. (Scream from other room) Excuse me, I'm on the phone. So rude. Amy: Here's another one. Penny, if it weren't for Sheldon you never would have met comic book legend Stan Lee. Penny: Great. Raj: At least Leonard, Howard and I would have always been friends. Bernadette: Hey, how come you three never got an apartment together? Leonard: We talked about it, but Howard was in a pretty serious relationship with his mom. Howard: I lived with her to save money. Raj: Yeah, you didn't have to buy groceries 'cause you were breast-feeding. Bernadette: Aw, so I guess if it weren't for me, you'd still be living with her, huh? Howard: Not exactly. Penny: What do you mean, not exactly? Howard: Well, things would be a little different. Fantasy sequence in Mrs Wolowitz's house. Mrs Wolowitz (off): Howard, where's my lunch? I'm starving. Howard: I know you're starving. The neighbours know you're starving. There's starving people in Africa who know you're starving. Mrs Wolowitz (off): That's it? There's not enough food. Howard:Well, you cleaned out Earth. I don't know what else to do. Bernadette: How is this any different这有什么不一样? Howard: You didn't let me finish让我说完. Here you go, Mother. Dead Mrs Wolowitz: You're a good boy, Howard, such a good boy. End fantasy sequence. Amy: Wait, did she die or did you kill her? Howard: Eh, tomato, tomahto(tomato tomato 有什么不一样吗, 有什么区别吗 I. (idiomatic) Used to dismiss a correction to one's adherence to an alternative standard. II. (idiomatic) Used to dismissively suggest that something is a distinction without a difference. ). The important thing is she's dead. Bernadette: Hey, so how come you two didn't move in together? Leonard: Oh, this guy wanted a place of his own because he was sure he was gonna be a ladies' man. Raj: Yeah, I was wrong. But I do think you and I would have had a great time. Fantasy scene in Raj's apartment. Raj: Come on, Leonard, dinner. Fat Leonard: Coming. Leonard: Hang on. Why would I be fat? Raj: You'd have no girlfriend to see you naked, you'd try to fill the void填补空虚 with food, and I'm an enabler ( I. One who helps something to happen. a person or organization that makes it possible for someone else to achieve something. II. 鼓励坏习惯的人. 惯坏习惯的人. mainly American someone who makes it possible for someone to continue with behaviour that is bad for them. One who encourages a bad habit in another (typically drug addiction) by his or her behaviour. III. One who gives someone else the power to behave in a certain way. enable to make able by giving means, power or authority (to do something). The money I inherited enabled me to go on a world cruise. The authorities have refused visas to enable them to enter the country. The new test should enable doctors to detect the disease early. A scholarship enabled her to attend college. Lack of witnesses enabled him to get away with the crime. ) who once deep-fried a pancake. Leonard: Why can't you be fat, too? Fat Leonard: What do you want to do for dessert? Fat Raj: I think there's still half a cake from breakfast. Fat Leonard: No, there's not. Fat Stuart: Hey, guys. Fat Leonard and Raj: Stuart! End fantasy sequence. Raj: What are you doing? Stuart: I just wanted to be in anyone's story. Raj: Yeah, but why are you fat? Stuart: 'Cause Leonard was fat. Penny: Amy, what about you? What do you think you'd be doing if you never met Sheldon? Amy: It's hard to say, my life would be so different. Howard: You can say better. Sheldon can't hear you. Amy: I don't know. Fantasy sequence in Amy's apartment. Amy: Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, there's tears in the frosting, happy birthday to me. (Stuart honks a party hooter at her.) End fantasy sequence. Stuart: I'll stop now. Amy (tablet ringing): How's it going, Sheldon? Sheldon: That's it. The baby's here. It's a boy. Penny: Aw. Amy: Yay. Raj: Congrats. Sheldon: Oh, thank you. I wasn't sure I was gonna to make it. But my mother gave me some ice chips(Ice chips are small pieces of ice, usually smaller than ice cubes. They are often recommended before surgery or an invasive medical procedure. They are also used if someone is fasting for a medical test. They can also be used in restaurants and bars. According to an article published in Bone Marrow Transplantation, sucking on ice chips may help to prevent oral mucositis or mouth sores associated with high-dose chemotherapy.), my sister told me to breathe, and I just thought to myself, Sheldon, if you can make it through the Green Lantern movie, you can make it through this. Leonard: Well, good for you, buddy. We'll let you get back in there. Sheldon: Oh no, no, I'm not going back in there. That baby is so irritating烦人了. He has literally been crying his entire life. Howard: Aw, he's already taking after Uncle Shelly. Amy: Come on, Sheldon, you should go. Sheldon: Why? Amy: Well, you always complain that you never had an intelligent role model growing up, and now you can be one for your nephew. Sheldon: Ugh, all right, I'll go. But from what I've seen, his attention span is as limited as his bladder control. Bernadette: You actually got him to do it. Rajj: Yeah, you keep saying how much Sheldon has affected all of us影响, but you've clearly had an impact on him. Amy: If that were true, I wouldn't still be living alone. Well, not exactly alone. I do have a 50 pound sack of rice with one of Sheldon's T-shirts on it. Leonard: I'm telling you, Sheldon cares for you more than you think. Amy: I wish I could believe you. I also wish there wasn't a mouse living in Rice Sheldon. Leonard: Hang on, I'm gonna give you a little early Christmas present. I'm gonna show you something, but if you ever told Sheldon he'd probably never speak to me again. So, if you want to tell him, that's fine. Look. Amy: I don't understand. Leonard: He made you his screensaver. Amy: Oh. Wow. I had no idea. He is so into me. Wait, wait, where'd I go? Leonard: Oh, well, it's you, Swamp Thing, Stephen Hawking, Spider-Man, but, look, you're in the mix. Amy: I am in the mix. And I'm the hottest one. Penny: Who's that? Leonard: Oh, Madame Curie. Amy: That's fine, she's dead. Scene: The stairwell. Sheldon: You okay? Amy: Just really glad you're back. Sheldon: Me, too. I got a lot of TV to catch up on. Amy: I missed you. Sheldon: To quote Han Solo, I know. Amy: Did you miss me? Sheldon: I would've preferred to have you there with me. Amy: Oh. Sheldon: Or instead of me. Amy: Did you hold the baby? Sheldon: I did. Amy: And? How did it make you feel? Sheldon: Looking into the blank, innocent eyes of a creature that couldn't begin to comprehend anything I was saying? Basically just another day at the office( just another day (at the office) 再普通不过 also just another day's work an ordinary or typical event It was just another day of arguing with my teenage son. When we won in Seattle, everyone was thrilled, but in Buffalo, every win was just another day at the office. Usage notes: often used to emphasize the idea that just another day for one person is not, for most people, an ordinary series of events at all. It means your day was average. Nothing terribly bad happened, nothing amazing happened. ). Fantasy sequence at the Cheesecake Factory. Fat Leonard: I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna ask her out. Howard: And chocolate milk is gonna squirt out of my nipples. Fat Raj: Put up or shut up. You make it, I'll drink it. Penny: You guys need anything else? Fat Leonard: Uh, your phone number and one more cheesecake. Penny: I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend. In fact, there he is now. Ready to go, sweetheart? Stuart: Not until I get my kiss.