Series 322 – The Staircase Implementation

Penny: Okay, Babydoll Pink, let's see if you can cover up the fact that I got my dad's feet. Leonard (voice off): It's just two degrees, Sheldon. I just want to turn up the thermostat two degrees! Sheldon: (voice off): Let me point out that two degrees can be the difference between water and steam. Leonard (voice off): Yes, if we lived in a teakettle. Sheldon: (voice off): This is the temperature you agreed to in the roommate agreement. Leonard (voice off): Aw, screw the roommate agreement! Sheldon: (voice off): No, you don't screw the roommate agreement. The roommate agreement screws you. Leonard (voice off): You know what, go to Hell and set their thermostat. Sheldon: (voice off): I don't have to go to Hell. At 73 degrees, I'm there already! Penny (after a knock on the door): Who is it? Leonard: Leonard. Penny: Hang on. Leonard: Can I sleep on your couch tonight? Penny: Uh, well, you can try, but the people across the hall are being very noisy. Leonard: You heard that, huh? Penny: Apparently, the one fella tried to adjust the thermostat, then the other fella went bat-crap ( batcrap (slang) Too irrational to be dealt with sanely. What I like is a certain ambiguity in a story, but I've come to understand over the years that that drives most people absolutely batcrap! ) crazy. Leonard: So you agree, he's nuts. Penny: Well, not as nuts as the guy who chooses to live with him. Leonard: Believe it or not, he was worse when I met him. Penny: Oh, I do not believe that. Leonard: You are so naive. Just like I was seven years ago. (Flasback: The lobby) I'd just started at the university. Past Leonard: Excuse me, I'm looking for Sheldon Cooper's apartment. Man with a box: Oh, I bet you're here to check out the room for rent. Past Leonard: Yeah. Man: Run away, dude. Past Leonard: What? Man: Run fast, run far. (End of flashback.). Leonard: That should have been my first clue. Scene: Moments later. Penny: So Sheldon's last roommate tried to warn you off? Leonard: For all I knew( for all I know 据我所知 according to the information I have; I think; probably. (Usually implies uncertainty.) For all I know, the mayor has resigned already. She may have gone to town for all I know. ), he was the crazy one. He had this really deranged ( deranged [dɪˈreɪndʒd] behaving in an uncontrolled or dangerous way because of mental illness. ) look. Penny: Well, yeah, he'd been living with Sheldon. Leonard: Sure, it makes sense now. (Flashback. Past Leonard is getting out of the lift). Anyway, I went upstairs and knocked on the door. Large Black Transvestite([trænz'vestaɪt] someone who wears clothing typical of the opposite sex, especially for sexual pleasure.): Yeah? Past Leonard: Dr. Cooper? Transvestite: No, you want the crazy guy across the hall. Leonard: In retrospect, that was clue number two. Past Sheldon: Yes? Past Leonard: I'm Leonard Hofstadter. I called you about the apartment. You said… Past Sheldon: I know what I said. I know what you said. I know what my mother said on March 5, 1992. What is the sixth noble gas(The noble gases 稀有气体 make a group of chemical elements with similar properties: under standard conditions, they are all odorless, colorless, monatomic gases with very low chemical reactivity. The six noble gases that occur naturally are helium (He), neon (Ne), argon (Ar), krypton (Kr), xenon (Xe), and the radioactive radon (Rn).)? Past Leonard: What? Past Sheldon: You said you're a scientist. What is the sixth noble gas? Past Leonard: Uh, radon? Past Sheldon: Are you asking me or telling me? Past Leonard: Telling you? Telling you. Past Sheldon: All right, next question. Kirk or Picard? Past Leonard: Oh, uh, well, that's tricky. Um, well, uh, Original Series over Next Generation, but Picard over Kirk. Past Sheldon: Correct. You've passed the first barrier第一道关卡, 第一关 to roommate-hood. You may enter. Past Leonard (Enters apartment. It is bare 空空如也 except for two lawn chairs, a television and some whiteboards): Oh, this is pretty nice. Uh, the bedrooms are back there? Past Sheldon: That depends. Past Leonard: I don't understand, their, their existence is conditional? Past Sheldon: No, but your ability to perceive their existence is conditional on you passing the second and third barriers. Past Leonard: There's three? Past Sheldon: Each more daunting than the last. Have a seat. Past Leonard: Okay. Past Sheldon: No! That's where I sit! Past Leonard: What's the difference? Past Sheldon: This seat is ideally located both in relation to the heat source in the winter and a cross breeze in the summer. It also faces the television at a direct angle allowing me to immerse myself in entertainment or game play without being subjected to conversation. As a result, I've placed it in a state of eternal dibs. Past Leonard: Can you do that? Past Sheldon: Cathedra mea, regulae meae. That's Latin for my chair, my rules. Now, you said on the phone that your area of study研究领域 is physics. Past Leonard: Uh, yeah, experimental physics. Past Sheldon: Hmm. Past Leonard: What is that? Past Sheldon: Doesn't concern you跟你没关系. You'll be going to the university every day? Past Leonard: Yes. Past Sheldon: And you have a vehicle? Past Leonard: A car, yeah. Past Sheldon: And you'll be willing to drive me? Past Leonard: Well, can't you drive? Past Sheldon: I can. I choose not to. Past Leonard: Okay, I suppose I could drive you. Well that's a point in my favour对我有利的, right? Past Sheldon: Why don't you let me do this. Past Leonard: Come on, I just asked. Past Sheldon: Last question. In a post-apocalyptic( [əˌpokəˈlɪptɪk] describing or expecting a time when very bad things will happen or the world will be destroyed. ) world, which task would you assign the highest priority? Locating a sustainable food source, re-establishing a functioning government, procreating(to produce babies or young animals.), or preserving the knowledge of mankind? Past Leonard: Uh, I'm gonna go with preserving the knowledge. Past Sheldon: That's correct. FYI, I would have accepted any answer other than procreating. Come, I'll show you the rest of the apartment. Past Leonard: Oh, good. I passed the barriers. Past Sheldon: The second barrier. Don't get cocky. This is the bathroom. Are you fairly regular? Past Leonard: Uh, I guess. Past Sheldon: This isn't going to work if you're guessing. When do you evacuate your bowels? Past Leonard: When I have to. Past Sheldon: When you have to? I'm sorry, I don't rent to hippies. Past Leonard: I, I'm sorry, uh, in the morning. Around eight. Past Sheldon: I can't give you eight. I can give you seven thirty. Past Leonard: Fine. I'll take it. Past Sheldon: Third barrier passed. You have won the right to see your room. Huzzah! Past Leonard: Is this it? Past Sheldon: No, this is my room. People don't go in my room. Past Leonard: So where do you sleep? Past Sheldon: I don't understand. Past Leonard: If people don't go in there, and you're people, and… You are people, aren't you? Making a joke. Past Sheldon: Do you do this often? Past Leonard: On occasion. Past Sheldon: Your room. You may want to repaint. (End of Flashback). Penny: Okay, and after all that, you just moved in? Leonard: No, I didn't just move in. First we had to iron out a few details. (Flashback: The apartment) Past Sheldon: Roommates agree that Friday nights shall be reserved for watching Joss Whedon's brilliant new series Firefly. Past Leonard: Does that really need to be in the agreement? Past Sheldon: We might as well settle it now( might (just) as well informal I. used to suggest doing something because you cannot think of anything better to do. We might as well sit down while we're waiting. You might as well enjoy your money while you've got it. II. used for saying that it would not make any difference if you did something else. The meeting was a complete waste of time. I might just as well have stayed at home. might (very) well/easily spoken used for saying that something is likely to happen or is likely to be true. We might well have to wait six months before we know the answers. The crisis might very easily lead to war. might well ask/wonder used for saying that it would be reasonable to ask or think something. You might well wonder why we need all these rules. might...but spoken used for saying that although something is perhaps true, this does not change the main fact that you are stating. Armstrong might not be a brilliant player, but he's a good captain. This might sound crazy, but I think someone is following me. I might have known/guessed 我早该知道, 我早该猜到 spoken used for saying that you are not or should not be surprised at a situation. I might have known he would be late. I might say/add 或许我该说 spoken used for emphasizing a new piece of information. I've had an offer – a very generous offer, I might add. as you might expect/imagine used for showing that you do not think that something is surprising. As you might expect, this top-of-the-range model is not cheap. As you might imagine, the Republicans were very happy to see the bill fail. what/who/where etc might...? spoken used for asking someone to tell you something, especially when you think they do not want to tell you. And where might you be going at this time of night? ), it's going to be on for years. Initial here. All right, that's television and movies. Section nine, miscellany(miscellany [mɪˈseləni] I. 杂项. a collection of things of various kinds. II. 拼盘 a book containing short pieces written by different people. miscellaneous /ˌmɪsəˈleɪniəs/ consisting of various kinds of people or things. a drawer full of miscellaneous items. a miscellaneous collection of newspaper articles.). The apartment's flag is a gold lion rampant on a field of azure(/ˈæʒə(r)/ bright blue). Past Leonard: We have a flag? Past Sheldon: Never fly it upside down unless the apartment's in distress(a damsel in distress. humorous a woman who is in trouble and needs help. Most of the female characters are stereotypical damsels in distress. damsel /ˈdæmz(ə)l/ an old word for a young woman who is not married.). And next, if either of us ever invents time travel, we agree our first stop will be this meeting today in precisely five seconds. Past Leonard: Okay. Past Sheldon: Well that's disappointing. (End of flashback.) Penny: Why on earth did you agree to all that? Leonard: It was the best apartment I'd seen, the rent was very reasonable and after you've passed the first three barriers you kind of want to take it all the way刹不住车了. Penny: Well, I'm sorry, Leonard, it's very hard to feel sympathy for you. Leonard: Okay, how about this? Let me tell you about the first time I brought a girl over. (Flashback to Leonard's bedroom.). Past Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? Past Leonard: Shh. Just pretend we're not here. Past Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard?Leonard? Past Leonard: I'm sure he'll go away. Past Sheldon: I'm just going to keep knocking till you answer. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? Past Leonard: What do you want? I didn't say come in! Past Sheldon: You asked what I wanted. I wanted to come in. I'm here because you violated our roommate agreement. Specifically准确说, section eight, visitors, subsection C, females, paragraph four, coitus. Roommates shall give each other 12 hours notice of impending coitus." Past Leonard: I didn't even know her 12 hours ago. Joyce Kim: That's it! I'm out of here! Past Leonard: But, Joyce, come on. Past Sheldon: 12 hours? (End of flashback.). Penny: Oh, my God. Leonard: Do I get some sympathy now? Penny: A little bit. Okay. Let me get this straight. You move in with this guy, he makes you sign a ridiculous roommate agreement, then he walks into your bedroom while you're doing this Joyce Kim, and you still stay? Leonard: Actually, I couldn't get too mad at him about Joyce Kim. Penny: Why not? Leonard: Well, I was doing some government research at the time, you know, military, rocket fuel. It's kind of secret. Penny: What does that have to do with Joyce Kim? Leonard: As it turns out, she was a North Korean spy. Luckily, Sheldon drove her out before I revealed anything important. Which I'm not saying I would have. Penny: So, what, that's it? You've stayed with Sheldon all this time because he kept you from going to federal prison? Leonard: That was part of it. The other part is what happened with the elevator. Penny: Oh, yeah, I'm wondering about that. You said it was working when you moved in. Leonard: It was, but one night, Sheldon came home from work… (Flashback, the apartment. The settee has now appeared. Leonard, Howard and Raj are playing a video game.). Past Sheldon: What is going on here? Past Leonard: Hey, Sheldon. This is Howard and Raj. They work at the university, too. Past Howard: Hey. Past Raj: Hey. Past Sheldon: I'll get to you later. What are you sitting on? Past Howard: I can't speak for these guys不能为其他人代言, but I'm sitting on my tushie( tushie (colloquial, often childish) buttocks, bottom. ). It's a joke. Past Leonard: Yeah, not a good idea. Past Raj: Tushie is buttocks, right? Past Howard: Right. Past Raj: Hilarious. Past Sheldon: Explain the couch. Past Leonard: Oh, well, there were some people on the first floor moving out, and they sold it to me for a hundred dollars. Howard and Raj helped me bring it up. Past Sheldon: But what's wrong with the furniture we have? Past Leonard: They're lawn chairs. And there was no place for company. Past Sheldon: Did it occur to you你有没有想过, 有没有想到 that was by design就那么设计的? Past Leonard: According to the roommate agreement, I'm entitled to allocate 50% of the cubic footage of the common areas. Past Sheldon: But you didn't notify me by e-mail, so this is still a breach. Past Leonard: I did notify you. Past Sheldon: Oh, you did, did you? Oh, drat(/dræt/ used for showing that you are annoyed.)! Hoisted by my own spam filter(hoist I. to lift someone or something to a higher place. Tim hoisted the boy onto his shoulders. a. to lift someone or something using special equipment. The bridge was hoisted into place by crane. II. to increase the amount or value of something. The publicity hoisted ticket sales to 12,500 in two days. hoist a flag/sail to raise a flag or sail to its highest position on a pole. hoist with/by your own petard 搬起石头砸自己的脚, 害人反害己, 想伤人却伤了自己 suffering as a result of your attempt to harm someone else.). Past Leonard: What am I doing in your spam folder? Past Sheldon: I put you there after you forwarded me a picture of a cat playing the piano, entitled this is funny. Past Raj: Oh, yeah, I saw that. That was hilarious. (End of flashback.) Penny: Okay, what does all this have to do with the elevator? Leonard: I'm getting to it. (Back to flashback.) Past Sheldon: I assure you, you'll be sorry you wasted your money on an iPod when Microsoft comes out with theirs. Past Raj: Okay, do you have an opinion about everything? Past Sheldon: Yes. Past Howard: And you just assume you're always right? Past Sheldon: It's not an assumption. Change seats with me. Past Raj: Why? Past Sheldon: I don't like this spot. I have to keep turning my head. Past Raj: Fine. Past Leonard: Ooh, it's time for Babylon 5! Past Sheldon: We don't watch Babylon 5 in this apartment. Past Leonard: Why not? Past Sheldon: Because no one likes Babylon 5. Past Leonard: I like it. Past Raj: Me, too. Past Howard: So do I. Past Leonard: There you go– three against one. Past Sheldon: They don't get a vote. It's one against one. And according to the roommate agreement, all ties will be settled by me. Past Leonard: But I said no to that. Past Sheldon: And I said yes. And I settle all ties. Change seats with me. Past Howard: Why? Past Sheldon: There's a draft 冷风, 穿堂风 ( 冷风. 阴风. A current of air, usually coming into a room or vehicle [also spelled draught]. ) on my neck over here. Past Howard: So, I get the draft? Past Sheldon: You're protected by your turtleneck. Past Howard: Fine. And it's a dickey(dickey I. 假领子. A detachable shirt front, collar or bib. dicky (colloquial) I. doubtful, troublesome. He had a dicky heart. II. (vulgar) like a dick; foolish.). Past Sheldon: Hmm, I'm still not comfortable. Of course. There's too many people here. Past Leonard: We can fix that. Let's leave. Past Howard: Yeah, we can go over to my place. Past Sheldon: Wait. Let me get my jacket. Past Howard: You're not going with us. Past Sheldon: Why not? Past Raj: You're the guy we're trying to get away from. Past Sheldon: Oh. Well, in that case, I don't need my jacket. And for the record, the correct syntax is I'm the guy from whom you're trying to get away. Oh, yes, this is definitely going to be my spot. (End of flashback.) Penny: Okay, how do you know he said that? You left the room. Leonard: Hey, do you want me to finish working on your man feet or not? Penny: Fine. Go ahead. (Flashback to Howard's bedroom.) Mrs Wolowitz: Howard, are you having a playdate? Past Howard: I don't have playdates! I have colleagues! Mrs Wolowitz: Do their parents know they're here? Past Howard: No, but if you keep screaming, maybe they'll hear you! Past Leonard: That your dad? Past Howard: She grows any more hair on her face, yes. Past Leonard: Oh, man. Is that a two-stage rocket? Past Howard: Three. I designed the engine myself. Past Raj: Cool. Can it break Mach 1? Past Howard: Oh, probably, if I could get my hands on that new fuel the government's been working on. Past Leonard: Oh, this just might be your lucky day. Mrs Wolowitz: Howard, what happened to the Oreos I left on the counter?! Past Howard: I haven't seen your Oreos奥利奥! Just take your bath without them! (End of flashback.) Penny: So, why was it his lucky day? Leonard: Well, it turns out I had a little rocket fuel in the apartment. Penny: What were you doing with rocket fuel in your apartment? Leonard: Mm, Joyce Kim was kind of curious about what I did for a living, and I was going to kind of show it to her. It's not important. The point is, the guys and I went back to the apartment. Penny: Are we ever going to get to the elevator? Leonard: Yeah, we're really close马上就说到. Uh, uh, we're at the apartment. (Flashback.) Past Leonard: The trick is to mix it into Tovex in order to create a combustible gel that will generate over 8,000 kilonewtons of thrust. Past Howard: Nice. Past Raj: Cool. Past Sheldon: Won't work. Past Leonard: Excuse me, but I've been working on this a long time. Trust me, it'll work. Past Sheldon: You don't see your mistake, do you? Past Leonard: There's no mistake. Past Sheldon: This is for a full-scale rocket, not a model. Past Leonard: Well, I've adjusted the formula. Past Sheldon: Not correctly. Past Leonard: Okay, I've had it with you(have had it with someone/something 受够了 to not be willing to continue to deal with someone or something: I've had it with this job – I'm quitting.). You might be an expert on theoretical physics and science-fiction programs and where to sit on a freaking couch, but this is applied physics. And when it comes to applied physic… uh-oh. Past Howard: What's happening? Past Leonard: A bad thing. A very bad thing. Get the door. Get the door! Get the door! Get the door! Get the door! Past Howard: You're waiting for the elevator? Past Leonard: Oh. Right. Past Raj: Wait. It's here. Past Sheldon: Give me that. (Takes the rocket fuel. Puts it in elevator. Presses button and jumps out.) Past Leonard: What'd you do that for? I had plenty of time. (Elevator explodes.) Past Sheldon: You're welcome. (End of flashback.) Leonard: Not only did Sheldon save my life, he didn't rat me out ( Inform the authorities about someone. He RATTED me OUT to the police.) to the landlord. Or the police. Or Homeland Security. Penny: Okay, so, basically, you're the reason I have to walk up and down three flights of stairs every day? Leonard: So I did something stupid. I'm sure you did stupid things when you were younger. What were you doing seven years ago? Penny: Excuse me, I was in high school. Studying, keeping my nose clean(keep one's nose clean Fig. to keep out of trouble, especially trouble with the law. I'm trying to keep my nose clean by staying away from those rough guys. John, if you don't learn how to keep your nose clean, you're going to end up in jail.), doing volunteer work for the community. (Flashback. Penny is in her bedroom, sitting on the bed with a guy, looking at a pregnancy tester.) Past Penny: Not pregnant. Yes! Scene: The apartment. Sheldon: Oh, Ubuntu, you are my favourite Linux-based operating system. Leonard: Hey. Sheldon: Hello. Why do I smell methacrylate? Leonard: Oh, uh, clear nail polish(Nail polish is a lacquer that can be applied to the human fingers or toe nails to decorate and protect the nail plate. The formulation has been revised repeatedly to enhance its decorative effects and to suppress cracking or flaking. Nail polish consists of an organic polymer with various additives.). I had a mani-pedi( /ˈmæniˌpedi/ a beauty treatment where you get a manicure (=treatment for your hands and nails) and a pedicure (=treatment for your feet and toenails). I'm addicted to mani-pedis, massages, the works.). Men can get those. Anyway, I may owe you an apology. Sheldon: There's doubt? Leonard: I did agree to the thermostat setting, and I shouldn't have tried to change it. Sheldon: That's not an apology, simply an acknowledgement that I was right. Leonard: Okay, I'm sorry. Sheldon: There you go. Leonard: So, we're good? Sheldon: Good what? Leonard: Never mind. Okay if I watch some TV? Sheldon: Go ahead. Television voice: Up next Babylon 5. Scene: Penny's apartment. Leonard (voice off): You're not even watching! Sheldon (voice off): I can hear it! Leonard (voice off): Oh, so the dialogue offends you? Sheldon (voice off): I would hardly call that dialogue! Leonard (voice off): You're insane, you know that?! Sheldon (voice off): Don't make me turn that flag upside down, 'cause you know I'll do it!